Steam

Many people romanticize The Golden Age of Steam Railway Travel. Movies set in the 1930s make it seem elegant and graceful; novels describe the arcane rituals of the dining car in loving detail, every sentence shimmering with cut crystal, gleaming sterling silver and crisp snowy linen at each table; documentaries focus on the immense power of the massive locomotives, the hissing and spitting and sizzling of the boilers, the spiraling volume of the great pistons as they begin their relentless cadence of motion, accelerating giant steel wheels until they are spinning in a symphonic crescendo of rhythm and speed.

Go visit the National Railway Museum (http://www.nrm.org.uk) in the city of York, 200 miles north of London, even if you’re not a train buff (which I’m not) and get a wholly new take on travel by steam train.

It was dreadful.

Steam travel was cumbersome: everyone has forgotten that you had to stop to take on water regularly or the boilers would run dry.

The coal fired locomotives were grimy: a massive open coal car right behind the engine carried tons of the sulphurous black stuff, shoveled ton after ton after ton into the fiery maw of the furnace heating that boiler, with the smokestack chugging out mile after mile after mile of smoke, fumes, and soot.

The laws of physics being immutable, even in England, and even in First Class Carriages, that soot inevitably flew backwards towards the passengers and plated the passenger cars, inside and out, with a thin grey layer of ash.

Windows had to be washed and rewashed.

The dining car windows had to be kept closed and, even then, layers of microscopically fine grey powder crept in, requiring the silverware to be constantly polished, the glasses wiped, the tablecloths changed even when they hadn’t been used.

The maintenance was never-ending as the ashen patina was relentlessly re-deposited on every surface as the train continued its progress.

Even the 126 mile per hour Mallard, which was built in 1938 and was the world’s fastest steam locomotive (and why oh why would the British name the world’s fastest train after a duck?) suffered from the same shortcomings. Because it was fast, you got off the train sooner, and so, presumably, had less time to get sooty.

The National Railway Museum in York is located in part of what was once the world’s largest railway station when it was opened in 1877 and the sense of authenticity that comes from seeing these steam dinosaurs, including Mallard, displayed in a built environment that is true to their period of dominance is impressive.

Winston Churchill’s Funeral Carriage is there, along with the Battle of Britain class locomotive that pulled it from Westminster Abbey to his burial place at Blenheim.

A replica of Stephenson’s Rocket, considered by most people to be the world’s first practical reliable steam locomotive, is showcased there. (The original is in London at the Science Museum.)

And there are engines and carriages and artifacts from all eras on display, including wonderful train station advertising posters from the early 19^th century to the present day.

Of course, those steel rails laid in such quantity during the 19^th and early 20^th centuries remain today, all over England, all over Europe. I take the train regularly, whether it’s the 15 minute ride to Bath, the hour and 20 minute journey to Birmingham, or the hour and 40 minute express train from Bristol to Paddington Station in London.

The experience on a modern train, where a diesel motor spins a generator to provide power to the electric motors that drive the train is infinitely cleaner, quieter and smoother than any steam train. High-speed fully electric trains fed by overhead wires, like the ones to be shortly placed in service between Bristol and London, promise even swifter, cleaner train travel. The Chunnel has made the journey from London to Paris by train an easy two and a half hour trip.

Nostalgia is lovely but should be reserved for memories of past Christmases, sporting victories and love affairs.

When it comes to real travel, I’ll take one of today’s fast modern trains any day.